Top 10 Do’s & Don’ts for on Your Wedding Day

It’s officially been - S I X Y E A R S - since Zach and I started Zimmerman Videography together. I can’t believe it. I may or may not have gotten a few more gray hairs during those six years (lol) but, it’s absolutely true what they say -time really does fly when you’re having fun working with your best friend.

Over those 6 years, I’ve been asked quite a few times if I ever considered becoming a wedding planner or a day-of coordinator because, as a type A person, I love me some planning and organizing! With raising a toddler and another kiddo on the way, I don’t think I could handle another demanding job right now, but it gave me the idea to start a blog to offer out all the knowledge I’ve been holding onto for the past couple of years. So, welcome to my first blog post!

For my very first blog post, I thought I’d just keep it simple with a top 10 of do’s and don’ts for your wedding day. This list is very specific to the wedding day only -not in the days/weeks/months leading up to it. And please keep in mind that everything on this list (or any future list) is solely our opinion as a wedding professional from personal experiences. If there’s ever a topic you’d like to see me go over or give my professional opinion on, let me know in the comment section below.

DO’S:

1. Add buffer time to your schedule.

Buffer time is typically scheduled in the half-hour right before the ceremony. It is so important to make sure you have at least 30 minutes of buffer time added to your wedding day timeline. That extra time is a perfect chance to go inside, get off your feet, and get out of the heat/cold before the ceremony. And if your wedding day is running a little behind schedule, the buffer time can help get your day back on track.

2. Keep your “getting ready” area tidy.

This goes for both the ladies and the guys -try to keep the area you’re getting ready in tidy and minimize clutter the best you can. Anything out on the counters will most likely be captured on camera and may possibly end up in your album/film. A good rule of thumb is, if you don't want it on camera, put it away or hide it.

3. Have a family portrait list.

There are a few things that can cause a wedding day to get behind schedule pretty quickly and one of them is the family portraits. Whether the family is just too busy chatting with one another or it’s the lack of a family portrait list, be sure to get with your photographer about creating one; and communicate with your family beforehand that they’ll need to stick around after the ceremony for photos. To add to this, have the elderly and those with mobility issues at the top of the list.

4. Feed your vendors.

I know this is such a silly thing to put on this list, but you’d be surprised how many couples don’t realize that they need to provide a meal for their vendors. These are the people who will be working hard all day to make your wedding happen, so take care of them! Most vendors stipulate in their contract that the client must provide a hot meal, so make sure your caterer knows how many people in your vendor team you’ll be feeding. You’ll need meals for your wedding planner, photographer, videographer, DJ/band, and any assistants.

5. Have a private moment with your bride/groom before the ceremony.

Yes, even if you don’t want to do a first look, you can still have a private moment with your bride/groom even if you don’t want to see each other before the ceremony. You just have to get a little creative! One way to accomplish this is for each of you to be on the opposite sides of a door or wall -your photographer and/or videographer can help position you that’s good for the camera, but also so you don’t see each other. This is the perfect opportunity to take a moment and speak with each other, maybe even read a letter you wrote to them. Let your photographer and/or videographer know you’re interested in doing this and they can help you make it happen!

6. Create a wedding-day timeline.

I should honestly have this in the #1 spot because it’s just so important. I’ve only been to 2 or 3 (smaller) weddings over the last few years that didn’t really have a timeline and, let me tell you, they were chaotic, stressful, and so behind on everything. No matter how big or small your wedding is, have a timeline of events. Typically, your wedding planner or photographer will help you create one, but if they’re not, you can always ask your videographer for help too. If you’d like to see an example of what a wedding day timeline looks like and what all should be on it, let me know in the comments below.

7. Have a pair of flats to change into for the reception.

Trust me, by the time you get to the reception, your feet will be begging for a break. Make sure you plan for some sort of flat, comfortable shoe that you (and your girls) can wear at the reception -I’ve seen special matching crocs, flat sandals, and even buckets of flip-flops available for anyone to take.

8. Have the DJ there for your ceremony.

I know it costs extra to have your DJ there for your ceremony and, I know, you’re trying to save as much money as possible -but trust me, this is not the place you want to skimp. The DJ you hire is one of the 3 vendors that is the backbone of your wedding day -they pretty much run the whole day. During your ceremony, they’ll cue the bridal party in with pre-selected music and make sure that all of your guests can hear what’s being said. And, as a videographer, being able to plug into the DJ’s system to record audio is crucial. There are other ways around it, but it’s definitely a lot easier if there’s a DJ.

9. Golden hour photos!

Some of the best photos of the day can come from a quick 15-20 minute golden hour shoot with your photographer and videographer! Make sure to put that into your schedule, you won’t regret it once you see the results!

10. Seating your guests after the bride walks down the aisle during the ceremony.

This one is mainly for couples who are having a friend or family member officiate their wedding (or someone who doesn’t officiate weddings on a regular basis). Usually, guests remain seated until it’s time for the bride to come down the aisle, then everyone stands up -but every so often, we get an officiant who forgets to tell the guests to sit back down and they are left standing for the entire ceremony. No matter who you get to officiate your wedding, make sure that you write in their script to have the guests sit back down once you’ve made it down the aisle. Even make it a point to mention it during your rehearsal. When guests are left standing, it makes it difficult for the elderly and mobility-challenged and the people in the back aren’t able to see what’s going on. It also makes it more difficult for your photographer and videographer to capture different angles of your ceremony. If they aren’t able to see over the sea of people, the only place for them to stand will be the aisle and all of your ceremony footage will look the same.

DON’TS:

1. Speeches during dinner.

Having speeches during dinnertime really makes for a fractured experience for your guests. Dinner should be a time for you, your guests, and your vendor team to sit down, take a break, and refuel for the rest of the evening. Not only that, but it will inevitably affect the dinner service as it’s difficult for the caterers to time the food and keep everyone’s meal warm if speeches happen to run long. Also, your guests could be hangry and more interested in being fed than listening to funny stories about how you met. It’s also really hard for your photographer and videographer to be able to eat their meal when it’s ready because, oftentimes, when one speech is finished, the next one is ready to go . So they’re either left hungry or will come back to a cold meal. They will have already been on their feet, working hard for hours by this point and would really appreciate a break during dinnertime.

2. Don’t leave your vendors on read.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to be in active communication with all of your vendors, especially in the 30 days leading up to your wedding day. Vendor communication typically takes place through email because it’s the easiest way to track all of the information received for your wedding, so make sure to turn your notifications on so you get notified when they send out emails.

3. Dollar Dance.

The dollar dance is probably one of photographers’ and videographers’ least favorite traditions. We totally get why couples do it though…it’s a good way to get some money saved up for your honeymoon, but hear me out! Who carries their wallet with them on a wedding day? I know I don’t. Plus, you don’t want to make your guests feel obligated to give you more money -especially since they’ve already spent money on your wedding and shower gifts, possibly even travel and lodging costs.

4. Don’t skimp on your DJ.

The phrase “you get what you pay for” definitely rings true when it comes to a DJ. They literally have the entire event experience in the palm of their hands. They make sure your guests can hear what’s being said at the ceremony, they’ll announce you for the reception entrances, release tables for dinner (if there’s a buffet), and really get the ceremonial events going. There’s nothing worse for your guests than having a little too much downtime between food and dancing. A professional DJ knows how to read the room and make sure that appropriate music is playing. The best advice I could give any couple would be to try and see your DJ in action before booking.

5. Receiving Line.

Two words to best describe a receiving line: Bottleneck. Time-sucker. On your wedding day, you have to consider how much time every tiny thing is going to take and a receiving line is one of the biggest time-suckers there is. Depending on your guest count, it takes roughly an hour to get through the receiving line. Then there’s typically an hour scheduled for photos after the ceremony, while your guests head off to cocktail hour. That means you’ll be on your feet for at least 2 solid hours before you get a chance to sit down and you’ll miss cocktail hour.

6. Don’t make your guests wait for hours.

This one kinda goes hand-in-hand with #5, but don’t make your guests wait for hours in between the ceremony and reception. There’s nothing that spoils the experience of a wedding faster for guests than being left to their own devices for long periods of time. Whether it’s before the ceremony or between the end of the ceremony and the start of cocktail hour/reception, try to make sure there aren’t any big gaps. If you truly can't avoid a time gap, provide a comfortable spot for guests to hang out, drink, and eat while they wait.

7. Having a large wedding party.

We get it, it’s finally the day you’ve been waiting for your whole life and you want to have all your besties right there beside you while you say ‘I do’ -just keep in mind that having a large number of people deeply involved on your wedding day can be really difficult. Planning any kind of pre-wedding events (like the bachelor/bachelorette parties, bridal shower, engagement parties, etc.) is a huge challenge, especially if everyone is scattered across the globe -it’ll be even harder to arrange a time when everyone is able to get together. With that -on your actual wedding day, larger bridal parties inherently take more time to photograph. If you do decide to have a larger bridal party, make sure you plan for this -allot the extra time in your timeline and communicate with your photographer what you want most out of wedding party photos.

8. Don’t walk too fast down the aisle.

Honestly, I’m bringing this one up for all the fellow videographers out there. I’m not sure how other videographers film the precessional, but me personally, I’m right up front with one of the photographers to get everyone walking down the aisle. When it’s time for the bride, I like to capture her entering the back of the aisle -then I turn my camera to the groom to get his reaction- then back to the bride for the rest of the time. When I turn my camera to the groom, I have to leave it there for a solid 5-10 seconds to make sure there’s enough footage for a clip to use in the film. There are a few different scenarios that could play out here, but lets say the aisle is short and the bride is a fast walker -that leaves zero time for me to get a shot of the groom’s reaction. So when walking down the aisle, take a deep breath, slooow down, and take in every precious moment.

9. Don’t overdo it on the alcohol.

Of course, you deserve to pop the champagne and enjoy yourselves if you want to partake in drinking. But nobody wants to be a bride or groom with their head in a toilet at the end of the night. Besides, your wedding day will fly by as it is -you don’t want to make your memory of it even hazier. The easiest way to keep yourself in check is to ensure you always have water handy or alternate between alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks.

10. Don’t stress if something goes wrong.

No matter how well you prepare, it’s inevitable that some detail(s) won’t go according to plan. The best thing you can do on your wedding day is to shake it off and keep going. You hired an amazing vendor team tasked to make sure your day runs as smoothly and efficiently as possible.

Sources: Mindy Weiss, Three And Eight, The Man Registry